Hey everyone! Rebekah here. I've been meaning to blog for the past month but then something would happen and it was like God was telling me, "Nah, you don't need to blog right now." He speaks to me like that. It's pretty amazing.
I write to you today as someone who has not cried ONCE over Sarah leaving in the past...3 weeks. Maybe 4. I don't know exactly the last time I cried because of this whole situation, but it's been a LONG while. LONG. WHILE.
And honestly? That is amazing.
I say it's amazing because the day that Sarah was commissioned back in April?
Cry baby.
The Monday after that?
Yes, squalling like a one year old that just got their shots. On the way home from work. While trying to sing. (Me...not the one year old. Can you imagine a one year old singing on the way home from work? That's funny isn't it? :))
It wasn't pretty.
Speaking of shots - Sarah always tells the story how she didn't cry when she went to get her shots for kindergarten. Seriously...if you're ever around her and mention shots, she'll probably bring that up. I'm not kidding. I wish I were. She was super cute back then.
Anyway, that Monday on the way home from work was probably the worst cry I've had. It was AWFUL. I'm not sure I've ever cried that hard. Puffy red eyes and a splotchy face and all that mess. Ug. Lee. Cry. (I say that like I have a pretty cry. I don't. I'm not blessed with that spiritual gift). And honestly I'm sure it was for no reason at all. I probably thought about something random and just started crying.
So you can see how I'm amazed that I haven't cried about this in at least 3 weeks.
You know what I like to think of it as?
God showing Himself a big 'ole HUGE GOD in my life.
You're probably thinking, Rebekah, get a hold of yourself, you're talking about crying (or rather, not crying).
Yep, you're right. But I've discovered over the past 8 months, God's 'love language' to me is showing up in the little details of life. Reading a verse in Bible study and then randomly finding a keychain with that verse on it. (Isaiah 43:1 anybody? He's redeemed us? He knows our name? We're HIS? YES PLEASE!). That's just one of the hundreds, dare I say, thousands of ways He has shown himself.
Where am I going with this?
You see, it hurts when I cry. I don't particularly like to cry. I don't mind it, but you get that headache the next day and your eyes are all puffy and feel like they're being held together by glue, ugh, nasty. So, when God allows me not to be a big ole ball of tears over Sarah's leaving? I see that as a blessing. And it's not because I don't care, I think God just wants to show me that I can trust Him with Sarah's leaving. I know that sounds silly. Trust God? Any good 'Christian' knows to trust God. Well...it's hard sometimes, we think we can do better or know better and the next thing you know you're not trusting. That's a whole other post.
All that being said. Things are good at the moment. Sarah leaves in 16 days. Now...if I come back and blog about how I had another ugly cry on the day that she leaves? Please don't throw this post back in my face because I will really dislike you, and I don't think that logic will hold then. I've learned from the book of Ruth that you can weep and walk forward. You can be weeping and trusting God.
The important part is the trust.
Pray for Sarah and all her Arkansas friends as they say goodbye this weekend. There will be a lot of crying.
A lot.
Toya, another contributor that we've heard from, created this video. Sweet, sweet video. You probably will need some tissue. Although, I've watched it like 5 times and haven't cried.
Crying? Okay, read the rest of this.
I kind of downplayed this, but another reason I haven't been all wah-wah-wah is definitely the prayers y'all have lifted up on behalf of us. Thank you for those. They are felt. They are powerful. And they are needed.
Y'all are awesome! God is awesome. PLEASE continue to pray! Because, you really don't want a basketcase blogging do you??
:)
Still crying?
I'm sorry. I don't...know what to tell you. God sees your tears! Weep, cry, but walk forward trusting Him! :)
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